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Column

Humor

The Merits of Membean

November 2, 2018 1:39am | Richard Park

As students are assigned increasingly large amounts of schoolwork over the past month, several students have admitted that Membean is actually a waste of time. “All you learn is how to talk big words,” says John Wherry. “It’s stupid and students could be spending their […]

Rishi’s Reflection: Advice for Tackling AP Exams

April 10, 2018 6:29pm | Rishi Saran

As I sat in the empty chair, I stared into the deep abyss that laid before me. My eyes peering into the emptiness, dreading what was to come. The impending doom was slowly, but surely creeping up on me, and everyone around me. Lips were […]

How to Procrastinate and Succeed Doing It (Humor)

September 20, 2017 4:14pm | Ammie Wang

Don’t procrastinate or you’ll start to fall behind.  Once you fall behind, your grades slip.  Once your grades slip, you lose sight of graduation.  Once you lose sight of graduation, you lose hope for employment. BAM – fast forward twenty years – you’re wrestling yesterday’s […]

College Application Season is Upon Us (Humor)

August 31, 2017 3:56pm | Ammie Wang

It’s the most wonderful time of the year.  No, not Christmas.  Not any other non-denominational winter celebration.  Not even that stupid holiday that we doubt the legitimacy of but don’t ask questions about since it gives us a three day weekend.  I’m talking about college […]

CHANTRANT: Modern Movie Offenses

August 31, 2017 3:39pm | Victor Calderon

I’d honestly rather not talk about this. I mean really, I love movies, but after the past few years, I can’t help it. Here are a few movie offenses that plague my mind ANY time I watch a movie – modern horror movies in particular. […]

CHANTRANT: Students’ Worst Nightmare (Humor)

August 30, 2017 2:44pm | Ammie Wang

A great evil looms over humanity today.  It creeps within the shadows of our existences, and asserts its omniscient presence over our every move.  With every waking, breathing, living moment, millions of people across the nation – if not the world – cower in fear […]

Satire: An Ode to Lockdowns

February 23, 2017 4:05pm | Shan Reddy

Once in a while, a beautiful thing happens at Clark High School. When the magic words resound through the intercom, students in classrooms across the campus huddle together in a dark, cramped embrace. Wrapped in each other’s arms, they gather in corners and under desks. […]